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Following the establishment of the routine, the body will be prepared for hypnagogia. This is a highly relaxed state of relaxation. It is believed that without hypnagogia,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], astral projection is not possible. This state occurs just prior to sleep. The key to astral projection is allowing the body to enter this state while the mind remains keenly aware of the experiences of the astral body. After entering hypnagogia, the astral body can separate. After being in a deep state of relaxation for long enough, the body will begin to feel a vibrating sensation. This vibration is the astral body starting to separate. These vibrations are the energy sources of your astral body,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which will remain tied to the your physical self throughout the experience.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
Energy and the Stages of Astral Projection
For thousands of years, people have sought to travel the astral plane for many reasons. Originally seen as a largely spiritual practice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people today travel the astral plane reasons far beyond spirituality. Goals of astral travel include problem solving,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], healing, fantasy fulfillment, spiritual enlightenment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and conflict resolution. No matter what you seek when you travel the astral plane,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it’s important to understand proper techniques in order to succeed. Like all areas of life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], energy is an important facet of astral travel. Energy levels must be properly aligned in order for the astral body to be able to travel the astral plane.
Because astral projection has been practiced for thousands of years, there are many methods that can encourage success. Meditation and breathing exercises are always used, no matter what other techniques are in place. This will allow complete relaxation and shift of energy levels from the physical body. With practice, you will learn to control your energy levels so your physical body will learn to subside so the astral one can take over. No matter what your goals are, astral travel can be an intense and rewarding experience.
By michalmv
See all Articles by Michelle ColeSee Michelle Cole&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Personal DevelopmentGet Updates on Michelle Cole Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Energy Throughout Astral Travel
Astral Energy and Projection
When the astral body leaves the physical one, it is always tied to it. The energy that remains attached is often referred to as a silver cord. For many, the act of picturing this cord will encourage the feeling of safety in astral travel. The fear of the astral body getting lost on the astral plane is often what will prevent astral travel from taking place. The energy that remains tied to the physical body is seen as the safety net that forces the astral body to always return to the physical body at the end of the experience.
Since Ancient times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the OBE body has been seen as having the ability to communicate with the spirit world. These energies, which are believed to exist all around us, can have healing powers. When traveling the OBE plane, there are no limits to what can be experienced. By overcoming fear of the unknown, you can encourage your astral body to separate so you can understand why so many people before have considered this a highly spiritual experience. With patience, you to can master the art of astral projection and accomplish any goals you might have when you attempt to travel the astral plane.
When you endeavor to travel the astral plane, the body and mind will go through several stages. The beginning of your attempts to astral project will involve training or programming the mind to allow separation to become possible. The act of repeating the same routine over and over again will create a system that your mind will memorize. This routine will train the astral body to prepare for separation. This routine will usually involve positive affirmations, visualization, and meditation.
As your astral body travels,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the physical body will often feel cold. The removal of energy from the physical body will lower the temperature. Through proper shifts in energy, the astral body can experience an entirely new level of existence. Whether traveling to another time or dimension,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the energy of the astral body is a crucial part of the experience. When you attempt astral projection, your physical body will remain in a fully relaxed state throughout the experience. That allows your physical energy to be used by the astral body for travel.
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Spirit, in its own way is having to learn to be a 'Human Spirit'
which is different from all other past lifetimes and that is not
what it has experienced before.
The human perspective of knowing is doing something because you know you will get something back. The Spirit perspective of knowing is doing something for itself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for its growth and expansion, not for need because all spiritual Beings stand alone in their power,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], their knowing.
*In a lot of ways - life is like a menu.*
When you know the human mind has value and you know the rest is
spirit, then the power and wisdom will create whatever the human
mind truly needs and desires.
You are the human with choice and the spirit with power; one is the planner, one is the builder. What a power you activate - the human thinks, makes choices and decisions, the pre-programmed energies create and spirit regulates. Spirit determines how your goal will be created and the human determines how it will come into its reality.
The awakened perspective is an awareness of your potential and
power. Enlightenment is being it, living it and applying it.
*Appetizers* - Knowledge and common sense.
*Drinks* - Light and pure, positive energy, which aids in the assimilation of goodness and greatness: mastery,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], miracles and magic,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which holds no impossibilities, everything and anything can happen. It's imagination and fantasy made real!
Life is like a relay race - ideas from superconscious/spirit, to the human, acceptance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], making of choices and decisions, pass it back to superconscious/spirit and the energies, which creates or manifests it.
*When you consciously act on your intuition, that is powerful.*
My old friend and mentor, Dr. Cruppe says, "The average person has an enormous amount of common sense because they haven't used any of it yet."
Oneness is uniting with the elements, the pre-programmed energies or the power and wisdom that the spirit holds within. The spirit self carries it into birth as a human in this physical,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], material world.
*Desserts* - Power and wisdom, evolution and control, richness and success, winning and enlightenment.
ie: You come into this world in a spirit body to acquire human
consciousness, to learn the truths of the universe.
Spirit needs to see, feel and experience the life of the human in
order to evolve and the human needs to see, feel and experience
the life of Spirit in order to evolve.
*Choice - is the magic word*
By Larry Wayne and Grace Johnston
See all Articles submitted by SelfGrowth.com AdminSee SelfGrowth.com Admin&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on EmpowermentGet Updates on SelfGrowth.com Admin Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
*Make a decision - That you will no longer punish the body for errors of the mind.*
Author's Bio:
Complacency is not a virtue that you want or need. Spirit releases to the human what it will accept - accept more, imagine more, be more.
*The Power of man is to accomplish the things he knows.
The Power of Spirit is to master the things unknown,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].*
Realize you are not going to get rid of your body,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; spirit is
going to live in it so why not love it as it is now and love it
even more when it is Spirit,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
The awakened perspective is so very important. You are in this
world but not of it. You are something more than your troubles.
You are not your past, you are not your physical body, you are
such stuff that dreams are made of!
The purpose of life is to evolve the mind to a point where you are making spirit choices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], wise choices and decisions from the awakened perspective or the knowing within!
Being enlightened means being able to change the negatives and
find the positives, work through problems and issues,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], use the
power of love and release negative ego.
*Entrees* - The awakened perspective, empowerment, oneness, love, positivity, true emotions and values, the elements of trust and acceptance, beingness and truth!
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Festivities got underway Tuesday to remember the first batch of Koreans who set foot on American soil one hundred years ago and opened the first chapter of Korean immigration history in the United States. The first group of settlers started out in Hawaii as sugar plantation workers, and they helped build the foundation for what would now become a two million Korean-American community,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], commanding a growing influence on American society.
As morning dawned in Hawaii,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], on January 13,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 1903,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 102 Koreans aboard the SS Gaelic arrived at Honolulu Harbor to begin a new life in unfamiliar territory. They were the first Korean immigrants to set foot on American soil and started out as sugar plantation workers across Hawaii,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fighting poverty and language barriers.
Their only driving force was the determination to set their home country free from Japanese colonial rule and to provide their children with good education.
Originally,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it was only 102 immigrants shipped to Hawaii. Now, there are already over two million in the United States and six million when counting 150 countries worldwide.
One-hundred years down the road, the Korean community in the United States has made major strides in expanding its presence in mainstream American society,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], whether it be on Wall Street, or in political and legal circles. Official statistics also show as of 2000,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], some 135,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],000 Korean-owned businesses raked in a combined US$46.9 billion in annual sales.
And as Koreans celebrate 100 years of immigration to America,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they're taking the opportunity to call for a stronger network with fellow Koreans,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], especially entrepreneurs living abroad to share information and know-how.
In order to be a very successful mainstream member of American society, they will try to retain their Korean roots and identity. This way, they contribute to society on the one hand and also contribute to the promotion of Korea-America relations.
With a century of pain and glory now behind them in history, third and fourth generation Koreans take center stage in today's American society,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as they get ready to open a whole new chapter of Korean immigration to the US.
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Using a hand made writing brush made of 2002 roe deer's hairs, he drew the dynamic slogan for just a W2 million payment, which is why Neonia have decided to recover the copyright on advice from a lawyer.

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6) Local contact Information - A small business can to establish a lot of credibility by including a local address, a local phone number, and other ways to get in touch with your business such as Twitter or Facebook. Highlighting this information let’s people know that they can reach in a number of different ways which goes a long way in establishing your trust and credibility. Local information will also play a huge role from a local search engine optimization standpoint because it gives the search engines important information about where your business is located and the areas or neighborhoods you would most likely draw traffic from.
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2) Content that is immediately relevant for your visitors – If, for example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people are finding you using a search term like “kayak tours Alaska” make sure that the page their landing on when they arrive at your site is also immediately recognizable as being about “kayak tours Alaska”. Don’t make them search for what they’re already looking for.
4) Clear calls to action – Let your visitors know what you want them to do and make it easy for them to do it. This goes for making a purchase, requesting more information, or going into your physical location.
Here are five of them:
If you’re business is online,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it’s pretty obvious that you need a website. The thing is, even if your business is done totally offline,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you still need a website. Without one,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], chances are you’re either missing a lot of customers or they’re missing you.
The challenge is that just putting up a site isn’t good enough and the customers you’re missing will likely remain that way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Websites that convert visitors online or drive customers to a physical location (like your store) have several things in common that make them work.
1) Develop a strategy to help people find you online – Whether your business is local,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], national,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or global you’ll need an SEO strategy so that people searching for the solution you provide can find you. Optimizing for keywords relevant to your solution that have traffic but less competition is great way to gain traction on search engines quickly.
3) Clear navigation – Make getting around the site clear and simple,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with navigation tabs that are easy to find. Confusion is a bad thing and visitors react to it quickly by leaving the site, never to return.
5) Start a blog – Having a blog on your site allows you put some personality into your site and products while playing a role in your SEO strategy, encouraging conversation and sharing information. It will also give you a venue to provide fresh content,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], attract some inbound links,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and establish yourself as a trusted resource.
By Gervais Group LLC
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There are 6 jars to distribute your monthly income,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The jars are:
- It’s simple to setup and it works.
- Harv covers the jars system in more depth in his book, The Secret’s of the Millionaire Mind and his seminar, The Millionaire Mind Intensive.
- I have friends who are using this system,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This makes it easy to ask questions and learn more,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
For more information on the JARS, see How the JARS System Works.
Author's Bio:
By Stephen Martile
See all Articles by Stephen MartileSee Stephen Martile&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Personal FinanceGet Updates on Stephen Martile Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
It has been my experience that people believe managing money will take away their freedom. They believe that managing their money will not allow them to be free and enjoy life to the fullest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I&#8217,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];ve been using the JARS for over a year and can honestly say that I feel I’m in a better position now to achieve financial freedom than I have been in years. In my opinion this is true freedom.
Although there are many other types of money management systems out there, I’m biased to Harv’s system. The main reason I choose this system over others is because,
Why People Don&#8217,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];t Manage Money
The Impact
Initially, we both had our doubts but after seeing the results first hand we have both become true believers in this money management system. We’ve consistently used the jars every month to manage our money. Without any significant change in our income and all expenses being treated equal our net worth has increased by a surprising 45% in the past 12 months. Once we learned how to apply this system we realized it was very simple and it didn’t require a lot of our time. Here is a list of the benefits that we’ve been fortunate to experience from using the jars:
After the third month of using this system I asked Trisha to calculate our net worth. I wanted to see her reaction. She went through the numbers and then looked at me and said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “I can’t believe it. It’s working!”
1) Necessity Account (NEC)
2) Financial Freedom Account (FFA)
3) Education Account (EDU)
4) Long Term Saving for Spending Account (LTSS)
5) Play Account (PLAY)
6) Give Account (GIVE)
The first time I picked up T. Harv Eker’s ‘The Secret’s of the Millionaire Mind‘, I read the quote above and caught myself saying, “I know that!” Trouble was I didn’t really know that. I just thought I did. I had been managing my money for years but not in the way that Harv explains in his book. The money management system that Harv teaches is called the JARS system. Trisha and I have been using the JARS for over a year now.
Our net worth has increased by 45% over the past 12 months.
- Created more peace in our relationship by resolving money issues.
- I don’t feel guilty spending my own play money,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I can spend it on whatever I choose.
- We’re going on a ski trip to Whistler,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], BC that I had only dreamed about 1 year ago.
- We spend less time managing our money because we have a system in place.
- We’ve earned $200 in interest from our all four accounts. We use ING Direct Savings accounts, currently at 3.5% Interest.
- We’re in a great position to manage any new money that we attract into our life.
I’ve even had friends say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “I will start managing my money when I have enough money” which is like saying I’ll start planning for my retirement when I’m ready to retire. I hate to say it, but if you aren’t planning for your retirement right now then you might not have a retirement fund to retire to. The same applies to managing money. If you aren’t managing your money now then you may not have any money to manage in the future.
Rich people mange their money well. Poor people mismanage their money well. ~ Thomas Stanley, author of The Millionaire Next Door
This system has had a massive impact on my life and I’m truly fortunate to have attracted it into my life. It’s purely simple, easy to setup and it works. I remember when Trisha and I first started using the jars in October of 2006. We had been using the system for about 2 months and I was calculating our net worth. It was a good way to track our progress and I was floored when I saw the result. I even had to double check my calculations because I couldn’t believe my eyes. At the time we had been using the jars for two months and had effectively increased our net worth by an astounding $4,000. Now I don’t know about you but $4,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],000 isn’t small change. It definitely got my attention.
What Are the JARS?
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April 1st afternoon, reporters saw the &ldquo clothing ” temperature; inventor, just graduated from university last year Ma hong. He showed the &ldquo ” temperature clothes; and baby wear pajamas, underwear, personal look not much difference, Ma Hong will be a pink and blue clothes in a holding a hot cup, less than ten seconds with a paper cup becomes a white cloth. Ma Honghui to call up clothes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because the gas temperature is higher exhaled, clothing can be turned into white, and when the temperature returned to normal clothes and get back to the original color.
“ just a few days before the application for the patent of invention, with friends founded the company is ready to take this to the market. ” Ma Hong said, such as >
according to the introduction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], during the University Ma Honghui to join the army, and later returned to university to continue reading, until last year of graduation. Ma Honghui tells a reporter,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], temperature clothing invention spent 5 years of time, greatly small experiments are also done for thousands of times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the main problems in the choice of materials and temperature control. “ temperature jacket ” the cloth is a kind of special color cloth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but different cloth color temperature values are different, this needs to determine which critical color values at 37.2 ℃ many experiment, after a lot of experiments Ma Hong will find only two kinds of color,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], light to find these two kinds of color he made thousands of times the experiment.

university to study the chemical professional Ma Honghui told reporters, five years ago, a friend of first 6 months of the child have a fever at night, but the children do not have any reaction, friends also didn't notice, until found and then sent to the hospital already late, “ after that I want to design a child has a temperature to remind the parents to change things, and then with a friend thought of this body clothes ”.
(reporter high) because the function has not yet fully developed, the baby have a fever of the reaction is not very strong, sometimes missed the best time to treatment, which also makes many parents worry. &ldquo Ma Honghui invented the university graduates; temperature jacket ” will solve this concern for parents. In April 1st, the reporter interviews understanding to arrive, the &ldquo temperature ” clothing; reached 37.2 ℃ will change, so that parents can always grasp the child's temperature. It is understood,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this invention takes Ma Honghui 5 years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], at present, Ma Hong will have applied for patent for invention and the establishment of the company,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ready to be the invention to market.
of Ma Hong breath, change the color of clothes.
“ this kind of clothes is the child wore,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], like to give children a long-term clinical thermometer, normal temperature normal infants under 37.2 ℃, as long as the temperature is over 37.2 ℃ clothes will change,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so parents know the child's temperature may be a bit high, can give a child the measured temperature, determination of heat is it right?. ” Ma Hong will explain that. During the

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District Education Bureau Chief Chen Shixue said, social supervisors intervention can help education departments of the objective evaluation on Teachers' morality. For violation of occupation ethics teacher found, will be implemented one-vote veto.

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Search online or in your local phonebook for senior support agencies in your area. When choosing the agencies that you need, make sure that they are accredited because that ensures the nurses are licensed. A little research will keep everybody safe. Everyone has to grow older,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but growing older with grace is the key to long life and peace of mind.
By John k
See all Articles by mijlo cirejcGet Updates on Elder CareGet Updates on mijlo cirejc Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Nowadays, all types of home care are available, and this brings a sense of peace to everyone involved. Seniors can get the services that they need through San Diego Home Caregivers, while their children can rest assured that their parents are living their lives to the fullest. The best scenario possible for aging parents is for them to be able to stay in their own home while receiving positive assistance for as long as possible. When this occurs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], respect and honor are given to the elderly, and that is the goal in San Diego Home Health Care.
What does senior home care include?
Everyone is going to grow older,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and it is normal for seniors to become more limited in their daily lives to the point where they can’t completely take care of themselves. This is where San Diego home care steps in to help so that seniors can stay in the home and environment while receiving the necessary aid they need. San Diego Elder Care for seniors can be a great alternative to nursing homes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when folks like your mother and father need extra care. This senior aid program allows families to have peace of mind knowing that their loved one is cared for and taken care of constantly.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
San Diego Senior Care has expanded so much in the community that virtually any health service is available for seniors. Services typically include nursing, therapy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and CNA’s can come to the home to assist on a regular basis. They perform basic check-ups,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and can perform duties around the house for the seniors. Agencies like Granny Sitters will come and stay with your senior,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do housekeeping,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], run errands and cook,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and they can come as often as they are needed.
What is Senior Home Care and Its Benefits,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
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Self-Hypnosis. This is a great method of relaxation and helps individuals get in touch with their unconscious thoughts and feelings. One advantage to this is that it alleviates the need to have someone else involved; you can do it yourself.

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results
some American officer said, the embassy area attacked them that need to take the initiative in the "micro-blog, micro-blog war" with "sound" than the news conference or personal information more quickly.
the United States military officials said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], American forces in Afghanistan are with the local Taliban militants and other extremist groups to play a game of "micro-blog war": the microblogging site for the "battlefield", words for "weapon": "war" from the original "stalking" secret stage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], now for the development of American initiative stage: "victory" peep.
. Cummings said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], NATO troops will not detailed response to Taliban's micro-blog,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the first marker, then judge is counterattack or temporarily shelved.
according to the American official said, US and Taliban has in micro-blog on multiple battle: Taliban through the micro-blog account of their "victory on the battlefield,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," said militants bomb attack and destroy the American "tank"; the US military says Taliban "exaggerated" victory, the U.S. military minimal use of tanks in the attack.
US Army Lieutenant Colonel Jimmy
according to military personnel, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization personnel had been secretly to focus on two related to the Taliban armed micro-blog accounts, no "confrontation".
NATO troops in September 15 of daily mean &quot,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];NATO media" micro-blog account "isafmedia&quot,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; to the Taliban question: &quot,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];terrorists let innocent Afghans long walks in the damage on the road?"
war
spokesman Brian. Badura said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "isafmedia" at first only for reiterated the official policy, in September after the change strategy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], change the past passive situation.
the house homeland security committee chairman of the United States of America's counterterrorism and intelligence committee Patrick. Meehan this month at the hearing that, people are using the Internet to spread terror, enlist supporters and mutual contact information.
the United States Embassy in Afghanistan in September 14th by armed attacks, the United States of America's military then instructed the NATO International Security Assistance Force in Afghanistan (ISAF) started the micro-blog counter Taliban "the first gun".
the two sides "micro-blog war" standard to win. From >
"Washington Post" reported on 19, the real "war" from the beginning of September this year.
extremist groups use more and present situation of micro-blog and gregarious website publicity attracted American officials worry.
grabs the active
Taliban publicist Abdel kahar. Balhi used the name "ABalkhi" account to answer: "I don't know,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. You have to put them in the 'harm's way' for 10 years.&quot,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
the two sides since almost every day through the micro-blog "hit saliva to battle". "Washington Post" comments, the United States Army and Taliban this tentative peace talks have made little progress, micro-blog now seems both sides only open channels of communication.
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Ongoing this sequence upon Search engine ranking guide for beginners, in this post we can make clear exactly how proper LINK structure could increase the website's odds of standing greater in Yahoo and google as well as other search engines.

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The first rule of rescue is Save Yourself First. The moral of the story is you can’t rescue anyone else if you’re dead and you’re not helping the rescue effort by flinging yourself over the rail and becoming another victim.
Three summers ago, I packed up my life as I knew it in San Francisco and dove into the deep end of the pool: I headed out to Lotus, California to spend the summer learning to be a whitewater raft guide. I did this with an amazing nonprofit organization called Environmental Traveling Companions whose mission is to make outdoor adventures accessible to people with special needs.
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In the Swiftwater Rescue Training, we were regaled with story after story from the collective history of humans and water where someone (Person A) would fall into the water, and someone else (Person B) would panic and jump in to the rescue. Sadly, most of these tales end in tragic death -- not of person A, but with surprising frequency of Person B, the would-be rescuer.
Call for Help. Sometimes we all need more than just our own internal resources. Depending on your situation, consider hiring a professional coach,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a therapist, or whatever professional will be best able to support your needs. While your financial situation may impact your ability to work with some professionals, others offer services on a sliding scale.
So what about you? What are the ways you’re skipping the “Care and Feeding” pages in your manual,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? The following are some signs that may flag the need for self-rescue practice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
• Do you wake feeling anxious?
• How often are you “forgetting” to take your lunch break?
• Does all your work feel urgent?
• Do you feel exhausted or spent at the end of most workdays,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
• Are you living for the weekend?
• What weekend?
Treading Water or Drowning?
At one point, when I was working at a nonprofit in whose mission I passionately believed, I was getting up early, going to work, skipping lunch, staying late, going home,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], passing out, and doing it over again – day in and day out. And I wasn’t even the hardest worker there. For me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this pattern of neglecting my needs certainly contributed to a feeling of burn out, and ultimately made me less effective than I might otherwise have been. I was so busy looking at the guy flailing in the water,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I didn’t make sure my own PFD (life vest) was on securely before I dove in.
Lean on Me. Many of us are surrounded by people who would love to offer their support to us. When we’re staring at the mission we’re working toward, we rarely look around to see who is looking at us. So stop and look around. Who in your life might be available to offer you support and care?
Smoke. Just kidding. Don’t start smoking; just start taking smoke breaks. It’s one small step to put a little breathing room in your day. The place won’t fall apart because you stepped out for 5 minutes. If actual fresh air is too drastic a change, try a little alone time in the bathroom to picture a beach in the tropics or your favorite landscape.
Practicing Self-Rescue
If your answers to these questions have you shaking your head in despair, don’t give up yet. The best part of identifying a challenge is knowing that progress is possible. By focusing on the smallest changes you can imagine, you can often make some of the biggest changes of your life. These suggestions are offered to help you live the life you would rather be living.
By Renata J. Razza
See all Articles by Renata RazzaGet Updates on Stress ManagementGet Updates on Renata Razza Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Buddy System. Get a friend to brainstorm with you and pick two small,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], doable things you could do differently. Have your buddy hold you accountable: you can formulate it as a bet (for the competitive folks) or as a reward system (for the more affection-oriented folks) or whatever will be motivating for you. Come up with a definite timeline for checking in and have clearly defined goals. Then watch your life change.
Well, it’s a metaphor. Many of us do the equivalent of diving in without regard to our own safety when it comes to working for social change or for causes we believe in. Don’t get me wrong: there is absolutely a time and place for taking substantial risks. But the point is to make those intentional and calculated choices, instead of careless risks that hinder us rather than help us make the change we wish to create.
Ultimately, these small changes can help reinvigorate you and create a more sustainable workstyle. And after all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a stronger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], more energized you is your greatest gift to your cause.
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By Robin Hoffman
See all Articles by Robin HoffmanSee Robin Hoffman's Expert PageGet Updates on Women's IssuesGet Updates on Robin Hoffman Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Armed with these realizations, I began to forgive myself for each and every judgment and come up with an affirmation of the truth.
As a woman, I had denied my female essence. I was pretending to be an empowered woman while rejecting being “feminine.” I had always known myself to be a “feminist,” yet I pretended that my masculine qualities were what helped me be successful. The result was I felt angry and exhausted. I undervalued the women in my life. I looked to men to give me a sense of value, wholeness and worth. I only considered masculine qualities admirable. I never even looked to find qualities of femaleness that I could admire.
It’s no wonder women viewed the path to power as adopting more “masculine” qualities.
To exhibit the quality “feminine” as it exists in our language was bound to engender a patronizing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], untrusting response. To get ahead in a man’s world,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], women chose to embrace the defining qualities of “masculine”, so we rejected “soft, twisty and weak” and took on “daring, strong and undaunted”.
Femininity: syn. abundant, accepting, attentive, benevolent, compassionate, cooperative, creative, earthy, embracing, expansive, flexible, flowing, grounding, healing, life giving, loving, nurturing, protective, radiant, receptive, resilient,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], resourceful, succulent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], tolerant, unifying, wellspring, wild, wise.
As I moved through adolescence, I tended to choose male friends over females. My select female friends I viewed as more like the boys, i.e. athletic, bright, and career-bound. I had no time or interest for “girly-girls” who I perceived as shallow, superficial, and dumb.
§
Growing up, I dreamed of a life where I would “have it all.” I wanted to be an independent career woman, a wife and a mom who would be home with my kids after school. How to do it came to me like an epiphany in a catchy jingle from a popular perfume company,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, never, never let you forget you’re a man, ‘cause I’m a woman!” That was it. The answer was so clear: all I had to do to have it all was to do it all.
The clue to how this works, and the key to transforming it, is in the language. How we “hear” the terms for feminine: female, girl, womanly, directs our interpretation instantaneously, and we relate to the idea based on our internalized notions of what feminine means. It is not our logical mind that responds to those words, it is our conditioned mind and our emotions that immediately call up specific impressions.
Now, breathe.
I was jealous of my friends who had stay-at-home moms, yet I felt disdain for women who were “dependent” on men and stayed home with the kids.
Here’s a suggestion for the next edition of Roget’s Thesaurus.
“I forgive myself for judging myself and women and ‘feminine’ as back stabbing: The truth is women are embracing.”
In child development, gender roles are most profoundly defined during adolescence. Each adolescent girl looks for clues to figure out what it means to be a woman. What is it to behave “womanly?” How are women different from men?
Hidden for centuries under a shroud of judgment and misidentification, the real truth is that both masculine and feminine energy are potentially powerful and noble, and both are necessary. To allow femininity its full, authentic expression, to honor the qualities of feminine for what they truly are, to embrace the feminine essence as a resource, to celebrate femininity as a gift is to be human, to be whole, to be healed. We just need to hear femininity in a new way.
And I quote:
I read the list, over and over, and the more I read it, the more I questioned. Where did I get these ideas? Not from my experience, I was certain. It was as if someone had been at my bedside, since the day I was born, whispering in my ear while I slept until I believed I was hearing my own thoughts. “Womanly means weak” seemed as if it were a fact. I never questioned it, I never even heard it. It was just there, like the sound of my own breath.
Whatever it meant to be “womanly,” I knew I didn’t want my mother’s experience. I also knew that the Reagan-Era reactionary backlash that was attempting to guilt women back into housewifery was not for me either.
“Take it like a man!”
For my mother and her mother the expectations for women’s behavior were longstanding and obvious: marry, defer to the husband, have babies, care for families, and keep a warm, orderly and loving home. Being feminine clearly and overtly lined up with being “sensitive, soft,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and reproductive.”
With each reframe, I could feel myself soften inside begin to appreciate, embrace and cherish other women.
“You play like a girl!”
I got my first period at age 14 in 1978. The same year the push to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment peaked in momentum before tumbling into oblivion. During this era, the feminist movement put a lot of emphasis on demonstrating parity between women and men, arguing that women can and should do anything men can do, the same way as men, and even better than men.
And ultimately to cherish myself.
My mother worked very hard to make it, and she did. I was proud of her, and at the same time, I felt alone, unprotected, and confused. My mother’s life was hard. My life was lonely. I wanted my mother to be home when I got home, and I wanted her to bake cookies for me.
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In our efforts to fit in and succeed in a “man’s world,” we pretended the key to power is to become more “manly.” Becoming manly women has helped us in many ways. There are more women executives, more women in Congress, more women earning salaries equal to or above their male partners. But no matter how many job promotions we get, we are still living under the tyranny of the language. Femininity is still heard the same way it has been since before women had the right to vote.
Manly: syn. bold, brave, confident, daring, dauntless, dignified, fearless, firm, gallant, heroic, powerful, resolute, robust, self-reliant, strong, undaunted, vigorous, virile.
Womanly: syn. changeable, delicate, modest, reproductive, sensitive, shy, soft, tender, twisty, vixenish, weak.
In late September, 1966, right after my second birthday, my mother rejected the role for woman that she had be raised to fulfill. She divorced my father and moved us several hundred miles away. She went back to school, first completing her B.A., then her Masters’ Degree, and finally, got her Ph.D. in 1980. She always worked at least two jobs until I was a sophomore in high school.
For me, coming of age in the mid-1970s and early ‘80s meant rejecting anything that seemed too “feminine,” i.e. weak, prissy, not to be taken seriously. After all, to be “female” is to be moody, unreliable, and vacuous (vacuous means stupid, sweetie).
We called the movement Feminism, but it would have been more aptly named Masculinism because it perpetuated the worship of masculine qualities and the degradation of the feminine. The feminist movement was and still is acting under the supposition that masculine qualities were more desirable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], more reliable, and more powerful.
Try this one on:
If I lacked evidence of this in my personal environment, there were plenty of examples in the media. Beautiful women without position or power were like Crissy, the bubble headed blonde on the popular TV sitcom Three’s Company. Women with power got it from their husbands and then abused it. Like the wicked Alex on Dynasty, strong, smart women were portrayed as wielding power underhandedly and getting what they want by being sneaky, seductive, manipulative and backstabbing. The women who have claim to “legitimate power,” who are successful in their own right and upfront about what they want, are labeled as “bitchy” e.g. Barbara Streisand and Madonna.
“I forgive myself for judging myself and women and ‘feminine’ as flighty, the truth is women are the roots of every family tree.
Femininity: syn. Sissiness, prissiness, weaker sex, bitch, slut, doll, chick, kittenish, maidenly, soft, chicken.
And so I did. I got married, built a successful business, had two kids, nursed them both for a total of 28 months, kept up a great body, had an active marital sex life, and put a homemade dinner on the table most nights. It worked great, except by the time I was 36 years old, I was exhausted, drained and dried up. I shared with a friend that I felt like a giant nipple. I was feeding everyone in my life but me. The map that I thought would lead to a fulfilling and happy life had led to a dead end. I had created a situation where everyone depended on me, no one was allowed to contribute to me, and I was parched and pissed.
I came home to an empty apartment most days after school. My mother would arrive around 6:00 in the evening and cook dinner for us. I could hear her typing for hours after I went to bed, and she got up before dawn most mornings.
What happens to your body language? Do you sit up straight and get a “stiff upper lip”? Do you sense an opportunity to be strong and honorable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Outwardly, women have progressed socially, economically, and many have, by law, attained the basic natural rights to life, liberty and property afforded to our brothers for centuries. Yet no matter how much we act as if the world has changed, women are still, as Alice Walker put it, “the niggers of the world.” For no matter how far we progress in improving our outer circumstances, we are growing, working, loving, living and dying in a context where femininity is held with contempt, disrespect, and fear.
Femininity continues to be shunned, degraded and considered a quality that is not to be trusted. As feminists, we not only failed to promote the authentic feminine, we abandoned it, creating fragmentation inside ourselves and distance from each other.
Let’s check out manly.
Let me give you an example.
In the late 1970s and early 80s, women declared new social roles and expectations for themselves. The role of the modern woman appeared to be dramatically different than the 1950s and early 60s. I was encouraged to get an education and be career minded. Young women, like men, were taught to work for financial independence first; then see to the roles of spouse and parent.
Now, that’s the guy we want! Give him the key to the executive washroom.
“I forgive myself for judging myself and women as having no sense of self. The truth is I am the Self.”
Compare that to Roget’s description of the male gender.
“I forgive myself for judging myself and women as conniving,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The truth is women create in flow.”
“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”—Unknown
Language is powerful. Word is law. In our culture, the association of femaleness with weakness and other undesirable traits is so pervasive, we don’t even notice it. It is in the media, it is in our language, it is even in Roget’s Thesaurus.
Let’s go back to Roget’s Thesaurus and look at another descriptive term for the feminine: Womanly.
“I forgive myself for judging myself and women and ‘feminine’ as ‘victim’: The truth is, I create my experience and have infinite power to heal.”
Masculinity: syn. Virility, potency, vigor, gentlemanly, cock, stud.
Do you hear the qualities of an effective leader? Does this describe an equal partner or a valued friend?
What’s your reaction? Did I insult you? Do you feel like you messed up or got too emotional? Do you feel the urge to distance yourself from this label, to be ANYTHING BUT a girl?
“I forgive myself for judging myself and women as clueless, the truth is we hold within us all the wisdom of the universe!”
I turned my anger toward my husband and directed lots of judgments against him. That he was a “trophy” husband, who looked good and contributed little to supporting the family, that he was weak, that he gave in easily, couldn’t stand up to pressure, that he was flighty, spaced out, not able to think effectively or problem solve, and one day, with a divorce pending,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as I was in a counseling session listing everything I “hated” about my husband,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I started to notice something. Trophy. Weak. Only worthy if gorgeous. Flighty. Undependable. Dumb. Poor without a provider. Every one of these was a judgment I had unconsciously held against women, against femininity, and as a result, against myself. I wrote them down. One, by one, I listed nearly 40 judgments.
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